The Ex

Sickened to think that if he had not told me, we would have ended up at Eddie's place for our honeymoon! Our honeymoon!! How he could have suggested it in the first place is beyond me, unless he is really not bothered by whatever memories the house would bring. I felt like saying I DON'T CARE IF U HAVE NO MONEY NOW, I JUST WANNA GO SOMEWHERE NEW AND EXPENSIVE FOR OUR HONEYMOON. It took a moment for his words 'I just wan everything to be perfect for us' to sink in. I do too. And I have to stick to my principle - Weddings and honeymoons need not be perfect, cos what's most important is the marriage life after.

Why can't I get over her? How can I tell him that I wan everything in his house to be stripped of all memories of her - furniture, colour of the walls, decorations. At least the label on the phone with her name is gone, along with the beautiful chinese inspired ornaments she bought. I wonder how she would feel if she knew he's gonna marry a real chinese, and not a turkey bird who loves chinesey things.

Yeah, I even have to scrape Turkey off my list of Must-Visit-Countries. And all clothes made in Turkey? Forget it, i'm saving the money.

See, it's so clear the problem lies in me. I don't think he loved her that much anyway (or am I in denial? Duh...) He has actually done all he could to make me feel like his house is mine too. And deleted and removed anything I asked him to. And told me the truth whether I asked or not. I'm just a stupid green eyed monster!!!

Breathe. Sighhhh. Everybody has a past, the fact that she had lived in his house for 7 months just made it more difficult to forget. I just need to somehow erase the negative images my overimaginative mind makes up. As if my past is that great. Sighhh.